Maybe We Should Have PBR Instead?

Today was a sad day, my friends. Today, the restaurant Josh and I loved so much - the first restaurant we ever ate at in the Haight, the restaurant we went to on the day we moved in to our apartment together - has closed. Technically, it will reopen in a few months, but only technically. We've talked with the staff, and it sounds like the owners are going for a complete remodel and new menu in order to try to turn a profit. So the name will be the same, but nothing else.

We loved this place because it was like home. It was unpretentious and flawed. The booths had rips in the seats. The paint was peeling. But everyone was so gosh darned nice. The wait staff was charming and sweet. The food was dependable and delicious and even healthy at times (tempeh sandwiches, vegetarians rejoice!). It was totally affordable in a city that is increasingly not. It had art on the walls from the 70s and a beaded curtain in front of the stairs that led to the bathroom. It felt like this city should always feels - freewheeling and comforting at the same time. And it had pitchers of PBR.

Change happens, and no one can deny that turning a profit in the restaurant biz is hard. It's really hard. We get it. But it doesn't make it easier to let go. We just hope the new place doesn't become too hipster. Please, don't start cooking with lard and truffles. Please.

To celebrate what was, and mourn our loss, we drink one of the finest champagnes we've ever had - the  1993 Veuve Clicquot La Grande Dame ($290). You've probably guessed we love our Veuve, and it's true. This champagne is amazing, delicious, and worth every penny. We actually bought this for Valentine's Day at the liquor store down the street. When we asked the cashier to retrieve it from the locked mini refrigerator, he asked if we realized how much it cost. We assured him we did (maybe we shouldn't wear torn jeans and sweatshirts when buying fine wine? Oh well, it's the Bay Area, we could be Dot Com billionaires for all he knows). If you have the money, buy this.

And to all our favorite wait staff from All You Knead, this glass is for you.

Prison Wine

Let me get this out of the way - I have never been to prison. I know some of you may wonder when I introduce my story, so I wanted to lay those rumors to rest before they arise. But I once rode a train with a man who was recently released from prison, which gives me some authority for the story that follows. This was supposed to be a short film for us, but alas, I do not have access to a train. If someone out there does have access to a train, please let me know. Then I will remove this post and immediately film on said train.

With that out of the way:

[All seen in reflection in train window] A man is sitting in a window seat on a train, late morning on a bright, fall day. The seat beside him is empty. He is wearing a worn denim coat, tired white cotton shirt, and frayed khaki pants. He has a faded black backpack underneath his seat.

As the train steadily moves forward, he reaches into the pocket of his coat and pulls out a cell phone. Slowly, he dials a number and leans back, phone to his ear, staring out the window at the open fields passing by. He grows angry as the number he is calling goes to voicemail. Frustrated, he closes his phone without leaving a message.

He immediately opens the phone back up and quickly dials another number.

MAN: Hey, how’s it going brother? Yeah, well, I’m doin' ok, I’m here on the train…I got my license suspended, long story…Yeah, I know. It’s been seventeen years. But those were my choices. Ain’t no bars holding me now. I’m back… You know, they say wine gets better with age. Well, me and wine got a lot in common. Hey, is mom there? Can she come to the phone? She doesn't have time?...Oh, you guys going to church right now? Yeah, ok, well, say some prayers for me, I need it. I think if I stepped foot in a church these days I’d burst into flames, haha. Give them my love, I’ll see you soon. Bye.

[Still reflected] The man slowly lowers the phone and hangs up. He stares at the face of it in his hand for a few moments, then dials another number. A grin spreads across his face.

MAN: Hey there baby, how are you doing? Yeah, it’s me, I told you I’d be coming back into town. I don’t know for how long yet, but I’m on the train now, should be there soon. You still as pretty as you were? Oh, yeah?...You and me, those were some good times. Hey, you still have that RX-7? Every time I see one I think of you. Especially that one night. Yeah, I do…Well, ok, I’ll let you go. You going to see me when I get in? Maybe, if you’re not too busy? Yeah, ok baby, I’ll be seeing you. Bye now.”

The man hangs up the phone again, a smile still lingering on his face. He immediately dials another number, leaning further down in his seat.

A few moments later he picks up his phone and slowly dials another number. Again, the phone goes to voicemail. Holding back his frustration, he opens his mouth to leave a message, then stops. He shuts the phone again, and quickly dials again.

MAN: Hey, buddy, how are you?! Yeah, I’m on the train now, should be getting into town soon. Man, it’s been a hell of a ride. This last time in wasn’t no piece of cake…You don’t want to talk about it? Yeah, that’s ok…My new PO is great. I had this job offer at a chemical plant in Texas, $25 an hour for the first 25 hours, then time and a half up to 40, then double time after that. For seventeen days. My cousin went out there and came back with 20K. So I told my PO, and he gave me a six month pass to go work! I think he’s actually a little intimidated by me, truth be told. I’m the guy with about 40 felonies, you know?…Um, been doin a lot of fishin lately? Oh really? There's a lot of fucking water around here, and I brought my fishing pole. So if you come out, we’re going fishing…Already? Ok man, well, I’ll find a ride from the station. You go fishin now. Catch some smelt, or some stripers! I’ll be there when you get back. Later.

The man hangs up again and stares out the window. He is lost in thought for a long while. Finally, he makes up his mind, grabs his phone, and dials. As the phone goes to voicemail, he starts his tirade.

MAN: Hey, I’ve been trying to reach you for the past three days! Where are you? Why haven’t you answered my calls? I've been on a train for two days and I would go to the end of the world to see you. You’re my daughter…Listen, can you come get me at the station?...I know, it’s been a while, but...And don't bring that boyfriend of yours cuz I’ll rip his arms off! I don't trust him. Ok, I’ll stop. I don’t have the whole plan figured out yet, because that’s beyond my capabilities, but this is part of it. I want to see you, ok? I’ll be at the station soon. I love you, sweetie.

The man slowly lowers the phone to his lap again. The train begins to slow as buildings appear out the window. The man wakes from his reverie and pulls the backpack from under his seat. He takes a deep breath, then rises and moves into the aisle and departs from the train.

As he walks onto the station platform, his phone starts ringing. People are pushing by him to get onto the train as he struggles to get his phone out of his pocket. A young woman with a man and child board the train behind him, but he doesn't notice. Finally, he gets his phone free and hurries to answer.

MAN: Hey, where are you, I kept calling!...What? Who is this?...Who?...Wait, how did you get this phone? A few days ago? Just bought it? But this is my daughter's number...I'm sure, I've called her before. Well, not on the past month or so, I just got out of...well, I've been busy...I see, well, I'm sorry to bother you.

As the man hangs up the phone, the train starts pulling out of the station. He turns around, and notices the young woman staring at him through one of the train windows. Recognizing her, he starts running.

From inside the train, the woman turns around, closing her eyes. The man with her is holding the child. He notices the man on the platform, running alongside the train, gesturing.

YOUNG MAN: What's wrong? Who is that?

YOUNG WOMAN: It's no one. He used to be my dad.

The train continues along the tracks, away from the station.

And that's the story! It has nothing to do with champagne, except that a release from prison is probably a good time to celebrate. Let's look at the Champagne Jacquesson Cuvee´ No. 734 ($53). The bubbles from this one swirled in the glass like a little tempest. It smelled clean and fruity, with an initial taste that was sweet like apple juice. You could taste the depth given by the pinot noir grapes, which almost burst on your tongue. It was very smooth, and the taste disappeared quickly after drinking. The bubbles did not last long either, which was rather disappointing.

Score: She gives is a 3.5, he gives it a 2.5

Recommended: To be honest, we thought this would be better, as it had been talked up a lot.  

Celebrate the Return!

We're back! We were never gone, but I actually forgot for a while that we had a blog. I know, I'm getting older, I can't keep track of all these new-fangled internets and what we do on them.

But then I was casting around for something to do in order to procrastinate writing my next script, and I remembered. Oh, I have a blog! I can write on the blog! That's still writing. So the writing gods will not judge. They may smirk, but that's ok.

I will get around to writing that script (I can't decide to go with a version of my wolf-woman story, or this thing with a psychic and future wars. Or both! Yes, definitely both). But for now, let's remember, there is still a lot of champagne out there. So let's talk about one bottle, shall we?

Everyone should try the Veuve Cliquot Rose´ ($65). It smells absolutely delicious and fruity and has a great rose color, just like it should. The mouthfeel is clean with a little bit of spice. We were surprised by how dry it was, not overly sweet, but that's not to say it wasn't very well-balanced. It had a sharp finish, and we can both vouch that is goes very well with chocolate. And that's really all you need to know. Go get chocolate and champagne - bring back the romance, people!

Score: She gives it a 4.5, he gives it a 4.

Recommended: Heck yeah, a great rose´.

How to Make Old Women Fascinating

I'm not too ashamed to admit, we've been on a stint of watching The Golden Girls as of late. Like watching an hour of reruns every night. You might think night after night of a series about women post-menopause might become tiring, but truth-be-told, it just gets better! That's good writing!

Our favorite on the show by far is Bea Arthur. My goodness, that woman can throw sarcasm like a perfectly placed fast ball down the middle. He incredulous stares alone are enough to elicit huge guffaws from our couch. Have you seen her stare down a buffoon? Or even a baboon, that would be good too, they should have looked into that. The point is she had timing, and presence, and she was really tall! You go, golden girl.

It gives us hope that TV doesn't always have to follow the same formula. You can make a completely hilarious and charming show that has none of the usual hot younger girls, middle-aged moronic men, or over-tired body humor. And more than that, it proves that women can be funny too. In case any of you were wondering (Josh is now rolling his eyes). We're thinking of starting up our own series called “Funny Past Fifty” starring various TV moms from our youth. Be prepared to laugh until you pee your pants (which is likely to happen if you yourself are over fifty).

TV watching, especially a good comedy, is also a great time to share some sparkling wine. The bubbles help relax the diaphragm for bigger laughs (it's science). We recently decided to try our luck with something Spanish, this time the Segura Viudas Brut Reserva ($11). A little on the cheaper side, and this one showed it. It was sweeter than a typical brut, but still maintained a lot of flavor that lingered in the nose after sipping. The liquid feels like it coats the mouth in an almost oily manner, which was less unpleasant than it sounds. The taste was decidedly herbal and savory, with a nose reminiscent of almost ripe fruit.

We weren't too impressed, but it wasn't a complete failure. I think Bea Arthur would probably chuck it out the window, but in a nice way.

Score: She gives it a 2.5, he allows it a 3.

Recommended: Not unless you're having a Spanish themed party on a budget.

Sick Days – Dream About Champagne

One of the worst things about having a persistent cold is losing the ability to taste things the way they should be tasted. And knowing that downing an entire bottle of champagne might make you feel temporarily better, but is probably bad for your long-term recovery. But being wistful for a glass of bubbly, I thought it was time to review one of our favorites, and long for the days when champagne will flow freely once again.

The oldest champagne we’ve had so far is the 1990 G. H. Mumm Cordon Rouge ($290). This bottle was so old, the cage around the cork broke as we were trying to remove it, the metal was so worn down. The cork itself had small particles of sediment at the bottom and a musky aroma, like a wet basement full of fallen oak leaves. But the taste itself was divine! The top notes were slightly malty, like you were drinking the finest beer in the history of all beers. The liquid had few bubbles and was almost thick as it coated the mouth like a fine liquor. It was a drink you could feel the whole way down, with hints of caramel turning and morphing after every swallow. An incredibly smooth and deeply seductive wine.

I'm sure a tiny drop would be just the cure for this cold...

Score: 5+

Recommended: Oh please, as if you have to ask. Save up, kids!

Farewell to 2011

You knew it would be coming, a New Year’s Eve champagne review! Probably the only time of the year, besides the occasional wedding, where all Americans feel comfortable with (or obliged to) drinking something bubbly. While we think this is ludicrous-sparkling wine if for every day- we’re happy to know that many of our friends out there will be sharing in something that brings us so much joy.

2011 was a pretty good year for us. I mean, we did get married, so we can’t say it was all bad. Between the two of us we also gained a niece, got a promotion, wrote a feature-length screenplay, and turned 30. And most of all, we’re still alive! Go team! Josh would also like to point out that Skyrim is the best video-game ever created. I don’t know what that has to do with the New Year, but that’s ok.

You might not feel like you have much to celebrate. Or you might feel like 2011 left you strapped for cash and not in the mood to splurge on fancypants wines. We hear you. But you should still drink, trust us. We might recommend you try the Piper Sonoma Brut Cuvee ($15). We drank this on our one week anniversary (awwww, ok, we’ll stop making you gag). It’s pleasantly carbonated, with enough kick to make you forget the tanking stock market and tar sands pipeline. It is smooth and playful, with hints of lemon and grass, or maybe even lemongrass. This one was easy to drink, but had no aftertaste or undertones. After a while, the lack of real flavor left a papery taste on our tongues. But this could be a good choice if you or your friends don’t really like sparkling wine and aren’t willing to go out on a limb with something that will knock you in the face with musky flavors.

If you are looking for some musky musk (we recently watched the Wizard of Oz), and you’re feeling like New Year’s Eve is a great time to spend a little more than your average reveler, we may have something right for you. Try the Veuve Clicquot Vintage Brut 2002 ($78). This is one of the champagnes we tried on our honeymoon, at a lovely little Italian restaurant in Carmel, out on their adorable covered courtyard (ok, now you can vomit). While we were still decompressing from the stress that surrounds a wedding, we were able to enjoy this refreshingly smooth champagne. It paired perfectly with our dinner, was tart but not sweet, and probably tasted even better because it was served to us out of a bucket of ice next to our table. We’re pretty sure everyone else in the restaurant was staring at us in awe. That’s how we do it!

But no matter what you do, make sure you’re drinking something that makes you smile. As long as it’s champagne. Or sparkling wine. Just do it right, ok guys? See you in the new year!

Keeping It Classy in Hollywood

So, one of us in this relationship (Josh) has stated that he would rather move back in with his parents than move to L.A. Unless we are rich enough to own a house in the hills and have a chauffeur who drives us around everywhere we go. I added that we'd also have to have a pack of little dogs and big purses to carry them in, but that didn't seem to help. To be honest, neither of us are excited about the miles of freeway down there and the vague sense that you could always stand to lose ten pounds.

But good things still happen! Like drinking champagne! We recently made the trip down to visit some good friends and eat a lot of good food, and also drink a variety of alcholic beverages (hey, it was too cold to lounge by the pool, we had to do something). And because it was Hollywood, and we are just about the classiest people in the world, we had to go big.

Enter: the 2002 Dom Perignon ($180). Doesn't it just look sophisticated? Like we should be 80s film stars driving around in our stretch limos on our way to a benefit for the symphony. We love music! And we love this champagne. Really love it. Might spend an entire afternoon writing odes to its perfection. It actually wasn't as deeply flavorful and "chewy" (that's what we call it) as some of the other older vintages we've had, but it had a subtlty that totally hit the mark. Small bubbles teased their up through the glass as we poured, and hints of cinnamon and peach greated our lips as we drank, and smiled, and drank some more. The champagne was good enough to make this girl forget how to spell. That takes a lot! I even have spell check. We left pretty sure our lovely hosts had enjoyed their first Dom experience, sure to not be the last.

Whenever you feel like classing it up a bit, this is the way to go.

Score: Everyone gave it a high 5!

Recommended: Once we get our big movie deal, this will be our Saturday wine.