There are few things less appealing than doing taxes. Maybe macro-economics lectures, or house-sitting for a friend who has an epileptic cat with continence issues. But filling out those forms for the IRS is right up there. Their jargon is so opaque and overwrought it could only have come from the bowels of bureaucrats stuffed on the carcasses of campaign promises past.
The math involved borders on pure hocus-pocus, magically adding and subtracting from that imaginary pile of money in the sky until a final number pops out of the hat. And while we’re happy for our refund when it’s all said and done, it still leaves us feeling like we need a long shower, a good scrub, and a stiff drink. The stench of dank DC basements lingers.
So perhaps it’s a good time for this next review. The Pierre Chainier Séduction Brut ($10) would rival tax form legalese for the bad taste it left in our mouths. Rather than using anything close to the champagne method for sparkling wines, this seemed to be a blend of chardonnay and sauvignon blanc, with some caustic bubbles added to the mix. It was sweet yet bitter at the same time, like meeting an ex on the street while you’re out with your new significant other. And much like doing taxes, it left us both with a headache afterwards. While “seduction” is in the name of this wine, we can’t think of anything else that would kill the mood quicker. Except maybe a shirtless tax attorney.
Score: Our very first 1.
Recommended: Only as a gift for the loveless bureaucrats in your life.
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